Some Gorilla Glue Would Hold it All Together

Here’s a little stream-of-conscience list of things I thought today. 10-1, because that will keep me from going on for hours.

10. I should write another blog about facial hair since that’s the one that keeps getting hits, but what the heck else is there to say about facial hair besides, “it’s awesome”? Same goes for Nathan Fillion. Awesome. The End.

9. Really old people are pretty cool. I hope I get to be one someday because I’m going to make up for all the crazy I can’t be now. I’m going to be the biggest public nuisance I can be. How’s that for a slogan?

8. Dear kid in the oversized clothing. Your big, flat-brimmed hat makes you look like you have a giant head. It’s freaking me out. You might be a mutant or you might just think you are gangster. Still, weird, and someday someone’s going to squash you with a giant fly swatter.

7. …but if I cut out sodium benzoate, what am I going to blame for my inattention?

6. I wish I had refrigerated air…. I just coveted my neighbor’s air conditioning. Seriously, I plotted breaking into their home and hiding while they are awake, coming out at night to eat and bathe. I’d be like a very large mouse, only I’d be considerate and only eat out of one thing at a time instead of nibbling a bit of everything. They’d eventually find me, and make me their pet and call me Maggie Mousy. That’s the life. Yeah, I’d have to become a mouse, but I’m willing to convert. Some mouse ears would help make me more convincing.

5. The heat makes me feel stupid, or maybe it just brings out the stupid. Also, it interrupts my sleep with unwelcome nightmares. I’m not sure what deity we ticked off in New Mexico this summer, but we’d better sacrifice some virgins stat.

4. I just tore a large hole (actually, two…  no, three) in one of two pairs of jeans that are fit for work. I can’t get jean holes in cool places, only embarrassing/ inappropriate ones. I haven’t bought jeans in 3 years. Jean shopping is preferable to a waterboarding, but only just. I came to town to shop for jeans, so of course I’m at the coffee shop, blogging. Why do jeans wait to get really comfy just before they are too worn to wear in public? Jerks.

3. I bribed myself today with a trip to the movies if I got my house cleaned, unpacked, and organized by the weekend. I’m sure going to miss watching those Cowboys and Aliens.

2. Why do so many Elvis songs sound better when someone who isn’t Elvis sings them? Is it the excessive pelvic thrusting?

1. I love it when people look truly happy. It’s why I like to hang out in coffee shops. Coffee=happy. The most attractive people are those who really, genuinely smile. If the Phantom of the Opera smiled now and then, he wouldn’t have to be a creeper to get girls.


About charliegreenberry

I grew up in the wilds of New Mexico in a strange combination of free and restricted. Now, as I stumble unwillingly into adulthood, I find memories resurfacing. So I dust them off, sand them, slap on a coat of paint and display them with the hopes that at some point they'll make sense and pull the room together. The blog is a space for writing, for sharing, someday sharing without worrying about who is reading it, and a place to practice. Virginia Woolf said, "A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction." Well, here's to having a room at least.
This entry was posted in facial hair, fashion, lists, personality, quirk, shopping, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Some Gorilla Glue Would Hold it All Together

  1. Teresa Cipriano says:

    If you have an angry deity in New Mexico with your low 100s, I don’t even want to know who has dibs on the inferno here in Texas! One hundred and nine…and this is cooler than it has been in over a week.
    Rick Perry, I suppose.

    • Certainly Rick Perry. Well, in all honesty, this could be Texas’ fault and we are just experiencing the results because we are close. Perhaps we should start really obviously distancing ourselves from the Lone Star State. Yes, I think this is a good plan.

  2. Ian says:

    The blog post of mine that generates the best traffic from randomized-long-tail-Googlization (that’s a word, yes it is) is a detailed comparison of the novel and film versions of “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.” Mostly because one plot point is slightly different in the two versions, and from what I can tell based on the Google search keywords, it confuses the heck out of people.

    • Hmm… Googlization sounds like the process of making those creepy little toys with the eyes that roll all over the place, which, now that I think of it, sounds a lot like the personification of google: a creepy little toy, watching everything in the world at once with it’s wobble eyes. I’m going to go try Bing now. My site stats show that most people get here by searching for ways to disguise weak chins. They are likely very unhappy when they get here. Perhaps I should do a blog recommending full, mountain man style beards to persons with that condition. On the other hand, I mooch a fair bit of traffic off of you because “iantregillis” is a search term that pulls in many site views. I guess links count as content in some google universe. Perhaps I’ll write a blog about how you should just grow a mountain man beard. Two birds, one stone.

      • Ian says:

        I guess links count as content in some google universe.

        But even that doesn’t explain how people arrive at my website while looking for naked pictures of Italian supermodels. I kid you not. I just can’t figure out how Google in all its omniscience could possibly think those people would find what they seek on my website. I’m also wondering about this epidemic of shame induced by so many weak chins.

        Perhaps I’ll write a blog about how you should just grow a mountain man beard.

        It would take the full power of modern medicine to make that possible. (The growing, not the writing.)

  3. Very weird… Are you sure you aren’t secretly an Italian supermodel? I hear google knows all. Also, I hear beards are itchy for the owners, so that’s ok for you.

    • Ian says:

      I don’t know much about much. But I am fairly sure that people searching for naked Italian supermodels are doomed to disappointment when they come to my website.

  4. karen millen says:

    I like you article,thank you very much!

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