Here’s a little stream-of-conscience list of things I thought today. 10-1, because that will keep me from going on for hours.
10. I should write another blog about facial hair since that’s the one that keeps getting hits, but what the heck else is there to say about facial hair besides, “it’s awesome”? Same goes for Nathan Fillion. Awesome. The End.
9. Really old people are pretty cool. I hope I get to be one someday because I’m going to make up for all the crazy I can’t be now. I’m going to be the biggest public nuisance I can be. How’s that for a slogan?
8. Dear kid in the oversized clothing. Your big, flat-brimmed hat makes you look like you have a giant head. It’s freaking me out. You might be a mutant or you might just think you are gangster. Still, weird, and someday someone’s going to squash you with a giant fly swatter.
7. …but if I cut out sodium benzoate, what am I going to blame for my inattention?
6. I wish I had refrigerated air…. I just coveted my neighbor’s air conditioning. Seriously, I plotted breaking into their home and hiding while they are awake, coming out at night to eat and bathe. I’d be like a very large mouse, only I’d be considerate and only eat out of one thing at a time instead of nibbling a bit of everything. They’d eventually find me, and make me their pet and call me Maggie Mousy. That’s the life. Yeah, I’d have to become a mouse, but I’m willing to convert. Some mouse ears would help make me more convincing.
5. The heat makes me feel stupid, or maybe it just brings out the stupid. Also, it interrupts my sleep with unwelcome nightmares. I’m not sure what deity we ticked off in New Mexico this summer, but we’d better sacrifice some virgins stat.
4. I just tore a large hole (actually, two… no, three) in one of two pairs of jeans that are fit for work. I can’t get jean holes in cool places, only embarrassing/ inappropriate ones. I haven’t bought jeans in 3 years. Jean shopping is preferable to a waterboarding, but only just. I came to town to shop for jeans, so of course I’m at the coffee shop, blogging. Why do jeans wait to get really comfy just before they are too worn to wear in public? Jerks.
3. I bribed myself today with a trip to the movies if I got my house cleaned, unpacked, and organized by the weekend. I’m sure going to miss watching those Cowboys and Aliens.
2. Why do so many Elvis songs sound better when someone who isn’t Elvis sings them? Is it the excessive pelvic thrusting?
1. I love it when people look truly happy. It’s why I like to hang out in coffee shops. Coffee=happy. The most attractive people are those who really, genuinely smile. If the Phantom of the Opera smiled now and then, he wouldn’t have to be a creeper to get girls.