Things I Never Said before the Dog


I adopted Kelly, an aussie/heeler mix whom you met several posts back, in September, and boy has it been an adventure. Kelly isn’t a self-actualized creature. She’s not so great at being alone, and she wants to be as close as dogily possible to me at all times. I adore this little creature, but sometimes I’m baffled by her behavior. The following list is composed of things that I find myself saying. Things I never thought I’d ever say.

1. Don’t you put that in the toilet. If it goes in the toilet, it stays there.

2. Stop chewing the carpet!

3. How did you managed to break your steel lead-line?

4. Please don’t pee on the floor this time. It’s really embarrassing when I have to wipe up your pee while we are tying to great our guests.

5.  Ok, I know you like him, but this time, try not to pee all over my dad when you see him.

6. Stop licking the lotion off my legs. I put it there on purpose.

7. No! We don’t put our faces on strange poop!

8. Well, if you’d stop pulling on the leash, it wouldn’t choke you.

9. Did you eat my checkbook?

10. Why is there a collection of trash under my bed?

Perhaps my problem is that I speak in complete sentences to my dog.

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About charliegreenberry

I grew up in the wilds of New Mexico in a strange combination of free and restricted. Now, as I stumble unwillingly into adulthood, I find memories resurfacing. So I dust them off, sand them, slap on a coat of paint and display them with the hopes that at some point they'll make sense and pull the room together. The blog is a space for writing, for sharing, someday sharing without worrying about who is reading it, and a place to practice. Virginia Woolf said, "A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction." Well, here's to having a room at least.
This entry was posted in adulthood, cleaning, dogs and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Things I Never Said before the Dog

  1. deshipley says:

    Being the owner of a senile Shetland sheepdog, myself, I can only nod.

  2. Giac used pull a lot when I walked him, but we got him a thing called a gentle leader that goes over the nose so when they pull it pulls their heads down. It keeps the leash from choking them and it keeps them from pulling you down the street as fast as they want.
    Also, I totally know what you mean. My dog makes me say things I never thought possible! lol

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