I adopted Kelly, an aussie/heeler mix whom you met several posts back, in September, and boy has it been an adventure. Kelly isn’t a self-actualized creature. She’s not so great at being alone, and she wants to be as close as dogily possible to me at all times. I adore this little creature, but sometimes I’m baffled by her behavior. The following list is composed of things that I find myself saying. Things I never thought I’d ever say.
1. Don’t you put that in the toilet. If it goes in the toilet, it stays there.
2. Stop chewing the carpet!
3. How did you managed to break your steel lead-line?
4. Please don’t pee on the floor this time. It’s really embarrassing when I have to wipe up your pee while we are tying to great our guests.
5. Ok, I know you like him, but this time, try not to pee all over my dad when you see him.
6. Stop licking the lotion off my legs. I put it there on purpose.
7. No! We don’t put our faces on strange poop!
8. Well, if you’d stop pulling on the leash, it wouldn’t choke you.
9. Did you eat my checkbook?
10. Why is there a collection of trash under my bed?
Perhaps my problem is that I speak in complete sentences to my dog.