I went to the chiropractor today, and he ran electrodes through me; therefore, I’m fairly certain I’m now a mutant. My latent powers will show up any day and so will Professor X. That’s why I feel perfectly justified eavesdropping in public.
Convo 1: frat boys in books
“Is Marilyn Monroe Dead?”
“Uh, I think so, yeah. Maybe.”
“Well, I was just wondering if she ever wrote anything before she died. If she’s dead. Like Betty White, I thought she was dead, then she kinda came back.”
“Who’s Betty White?”
Convo 2: cat lovers in calendars
“Oh my GOD! Look at this yoga cats calendar!”
“Oh, that’s awesome! It’s like yoga for cats!”
“Yeah! That calico does a mean downward dog.”
“That’s totally ironic, right? I wonder if Mr. Fluffykins would do that?”
Convo 3: Hipsters in History
“Why are there so many books on World War II?”
“I know, right? It’s like everyone reads about World War II. Why doesn’t anyone write about anything [long pause] important. Ya know?”
“That’s deep, man.”
I can’t make this stuff up. Also, the alliteration is completely accidental. Oh yeah. Watch what you say in public, folks.