I Cannot Believe I Haven’t Written One About Tea Yet

It took me 5 minutes to type the title because my clumsy caffeine fingers kept screwing it up.

Tea is love. Drinking tea at work earlier, I came to a realization. The feeling I have when drinking a good cuppa is the same I get when talking to a charming man. I can’t tell if my relationship with tea is one of love (flightsuits) or lust (mustaches). I’m leaning toward true love on this one.

I drink tea when things get overwhelming and I need to calm down for a bit. Case it point: my desk is covered in papers to grade and October is quickly running out, meaning all the things I need to do before I leave in November for Chicago (ahh!) is suddenly pressing.

So I’m drinking tea and feeling moony and day dreamy. If my grandma knew how lovey-dovey tea makes me, she’d probably arrange to have it delivered through a patch so that I’d fall in love and have an unrealistic number of children.

The only problem with the tea/love thing is that tea makes me stutter. It’s a bit like watching The King’s Speech in reverse.

Tea is a much safer love than romantic partners. The worst it can do is go cold, and, even then, a microwave can save it. Chick flicks tell me that microwaves do not save cold love. Participating in untrusting hijinks, wearing sexy lingerie, and having affairs do. I’m not very skilled at any of those.

I actually had to stop this and pick it up when I wasn’t all tea-d out. I once lived in a house with 3 other girls. When there were problems, you could find me in the kitchen, getting a pot of tea ready for everyone. Now that I live alone, I still bust out the tea things because I know that tea has special powers. Here’s a list of stuff it can do:

1. If you mop unfinished hardwood with black tea, the tea will give the wood a dark sheen and will make the wood grain really stand out.

2. Tea has been linked to a reduction in cancer cells in women with ovarian cancers and may possibly prevent it.

3. Tea prevents and reduces clogged arteries and lowers high blood pressure.

4. Tea may actually improve your immune system while fighting viruses, making it the Rambo of refreshment.

5. Tea can help speed up weight loss if you don’t drink it like me: with milk and sugar.

6. It may actually prevent age-associated brain degeneration.

7. It lowers levels of cortisone in the body, reducing stress.

8. Tea inhibits the growth of bad breath germs, which is funny if you’ve ever left tea sitting around for too long. That’s some smelly stuff.

9. It could save your life if you are bit by a venomous creature.

10. Let’s face it, tea is the only reason there ever was a British Empire.

And on that note:



About charliegreenberry

I grew up in the wilds of New Mexico in a strange combination of free and restricted. Now, as I stumble unwillingly into adulthood, I find memories resurfacing. So I dust them off, sand them, slap on a coat of paint and display them with the hopes that at some point they'll make sense and pull the room together. The blog is a space for writing, for sharing, someday sharing without worrying about who is reading it, and a place to practice. Virginia Woolf said, "A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction." Well, here's to having a room at least.
This entry was posted in adulthood, day dreams, facial hair, fashion, history, lists, love, quirk, royalty, self. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to I Cannot Believe I Haven’t Written One About Tea Yet

  1. Ian says:

    Wow– ten million points for referencing Professor Elemental. My days don’t contain nearly enough Chap-Hop. (I don’t own a pair of Fighting Trousers, but oh that I did.)

    Altitude is the enemy of a good cup of tea, isn’t it? Just recently I had a cup made with water properly heated under pressure to compensate for the 7000′. World of difference.

    • So glad you know of the Professor. As for altitude, I can’t say that I’ve ever had a cup on low lands. Portales is about as low as I’ve ever been. Now I shall look at my tea and wonder if it really is as tasty as I think it is.

  2. Sea level and perfect cup of tea, here I come.

  3. Ian says:

    And this morning, while checking my email, I found a photo of Professor Elemental hanging out with Captain Robert of Abney Park. It was like a little perfect storm of awesome right there on the screen.

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